Monday 10 March 2008

I'm coming out...

Saturday morning found me laden down with garments of various shapes, hues and necklines as I wandered like a lost child, shopping for a dress with the close personal friend.

Although the CPF is beautiful and pretty and all kinds of wonderful, she doesn't consider herself to be a girly girl and, by way of extenuating this belief, will often reject garments based on their colour or the very hint of a ribbon or bow, claiming that they are not her or she doesn't feel comfortable in them. As you can imagine, this does have a tendency to rather limit the number of potentially suitable items she can try on and, in turn, generates frustration that there appears to be nothing suitable.

There was a time when I would try to convince her that, such is her level of gorgeousness, she can carry off "girly" clothes very successfully. I would opine that maybe the reason she feels uncomfortable in such clothes, although I may think she looks nothing sort of mouth watering, is that she doesn't wear them too often. Maybe, the more she wore them, the more comfortable she would feel. Those times are long gone however, I have admitted defeat - the lady is not for turning. Anyway, I'd rather her be comfortable wearing what she feels best in than uncomfortable wearing what I think she looks stunningly beautiful in.

Instead I have changed my approach and adopted a role for myself which extends far beyond the "follow me around and hold my purse while I try this on" dynamic other couples seem to employ. I have learned what she likes - they styles, the colours, the length, the cuts. I check for items I think she might be keen on and check they have her size in stock (well, we don't want to get her hopes up only to have them dashed). I chat to her about all manner of inane stuff, I make her laugh and I encourage her to try things on and see how they look.

In doing this I have learned some things very few men know. For example:-
I know that there are more colours than just white, black, red, green, blue, pink and yellow.
I know that salmon can be a type of fish or a colour.
I know the correct names of different neck lines and dress styles - and which ones hide or accentuate the hips, waist, legs and bust.
I can tell what type of shoes/bag/top would go well with that.
I can even recommend the necklace and earrings which would go best with a particular ensemble.

It can be quite disturbing at times if I'm honest - sometimes I think I'm a little too good and that I am mere inches from developing a love of flower arranging or interior design. At one point on Saturday I actually uttered the words "That's gorgeous... it will crease something terrible though".

Well.... I had to go home and saw a piece of wood in half after that, just to restore the balance.


red said...

I and your CPF sound like very similar shoppers. And I am really, really impressed by your shopper's companion skills. There should be some kind of award for such behaviour, and you of course should win.

Sam, Problemchildbride said...

It is true that salmon is both a fish and a colour, just as surely as it is true that noone, man nor woman under 60, nor child should be caught dead wearing it.

How do you feel about this season's clutch purses?

The Bad Ambassador said...

red - Its not really worthy of awards to be honest. I'm happy if the CPF is happy and if she is frustrated or in any way peeved, she is most definitely not happy. In any case, it works both ways - she stays up to watch the Superbowl (and actually really got into it).

Sam - Saw some nice ones on Saturday but I don't think I want to be caught discussing them. The CPF is not really a bag/purse kinda gal. Probably just as well for I like to keep my feminine side at "friend-of-a-friend" distance. I fear knowing too much about clutch purses and the like would make it my de facto bestest buddy.

sheepworrier said...

Fair play to ya - too many fellas are overly concerned with how macho they appear.

Caro said...

All you need to do is graduate from perfect shopper's companion to personal shopper who shops while the close personal friend puts her feet up at home with a nice glass of wine and a good book. Then you'll be the perfect man indeed.

God I want one of those... The Italian is perfect in every other way but shops bring him out in a rash.

The Bad Ambassador said...

Caro - I've done some crazy things in my life. I've jumped from planes with parachutes attached to my back. I've ridden motorbikes at ridiculous speed in crazy condition. I have even played hurling!

But I don't think I am man enough to make sartorial decisions for the close personal friend in her absence.

The Hangar Queen said...

That's how it all began with me you know.

Be very afraid.