Monday 7 April 2008

Hump De bump

Land of saints and scholars?

Land of roundabouts and speed bumps more like.

I have no real problems with roundabouts - except when we put traffic lights on them (that's just inviting people to laugh at us). Outside off peak hours you can kind of slalom through them with the grace and coolness the Milk Tray Man would have if he was an Olympic skier.

I despise speed bumps though. Suspension destroying, soul crushing monuments to insipid, uninspired political thinking. It seems they will lash a speed bump in anywhere - for any reason - at present. Maybe somebody has been doing a special on them for the last 20 years.

"Somebody drove down a road with their hands on the wheel in something other than the '10 to 2' position? Holy knee jerk reaction Batman! We need a speed bump"

"This road is congested each morning with barely moving rush hour traffic? And children might be walking to school as close as 10 miles away? Why didn't you say something? A speed bump will limit the danger?"

I've got an idea! Instead of annihilating the vehicles and spinal columns of the vast majority who can drive responsibly (and at reasonable speeds) by whacking speed bumps everywhere, why not try a different approach. How about actually catching the people who drive like lunatics? Or maybe introduce stiffer penalties as a deterrent? Or, if you're feeling a slightly more radical why not try something like, oh I don't know, policing the already existing legislation which more than adequately covers such situations?

Speed bumps - Pah!

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