Thursday 9 October 2008

The Friday Album Cover #17

"The Man" sent me off to the glamorous surrounds of Amiens Steet this week. I have spent the latter half of the week working for a certain semi state body (whose internal newsletter is wittily titled "The Gasette") and observing the coming and goings at the nearby methadone clinic. Oh yes! Nothing but chic cosmopolitan hubs for me. In addition to listening to the half-baked notions of the fine Dublin citizens gathered below the window I have witnessed what, to me, is a completely new phenomenon.

There is a set of pedestrian lights outside near the client's office. At lunchtime today I stopped by them, pressed the button to summon the little green man and stood at the roadside waiting for the lights to change. After roughly 30 seconds a man stopped beside me, jabbed his finger at the button 5 or 6 times and joined me in waiting for the signal to cross.

Why did he feel the need to press the button? Did he think I am unaware how pedestrian lights are supposed to function? Perhaps he was under the impression that the lights would instinctively understand that his desire to reach his destination was more urgent than mine. Or maybe he felt pressing the button a number of times would convince the lights to change quicker - in much the same way Daddy Ambassador seems to think clicking his mouse button harder somehow encourages his PC. I don't know if the various etiquette books in publication cover such scenarios - but if they do, I can only imagine the following is the correct response.

Thanks God you're here. That's the kind of radical, outside-the-box thinking I could have done with 4 hours ago. Do you know I've been standing here, racking my brains, trying to remember what I was forgetting. I'm going to be so late for work

To say I was dispatched to Amiens Street at short notice would be an understatement. My departure was so swift that the latter half of the week was spent fretting over the half complete album cover on my laptop back in the office.

They say desperate times call for desperate measures so, unwilling to break the emergency glass in order to retrieve The Beatles "White Album", I went for something super-simple yet super-classic. The early bird will definitely get the worm this week.

6 comments:

redleeroy said...

pink floyd - the wall ?

sheepworrier said...

I will get you for this redleeroy!

redleeroy said...

i had to stop the incessant sheepworrying tide of success.

PRyin said...

I'm such a late bird. SUCH a late bird. At least it wasn't much of a challenge.

Regarding pedestrian lights.
You gotta keep bangin' that motherfuNker - it's the only damn way it'll EVER work.
But in actuality, most inner city button-presses are a farce. Green man comes regardless.

Rosie said...

late. hungover. missed the boat.

and i am one of those people who presses the button til the lights change. it passes the time.

problemchildbride said...

All those fingers. These buttons must be little petri buttons of disease.