Anything you want - you got it!

M's brother, D, is the type of guy who "knows a guy". Guys who can "procure" things, guys who can "fix" things - he knows a lot of guys. If I was looking for a doctor who would remove a bullet without asking questions, he'd be my first port of call.

While sitting in her kitchen last week I noticed the new, futuristic looking washer/drier gleaming proudly under her counter top.

With funky buttons and a digital display it looked like the type of contraption that, with a few minor tweaks, could be modified to offer time travel capabilities.

"Very fancy!" I said nodding in the direction of the clothes washing, time-space continuum altering contraption.

"Yeah" she replied, "€200".

"Impressive! Where did you get it?"

"Fell off the back of a lorry" she answered, matter-of-factly.

"D got it for you?"

"No. It actually fell off the back of a lorry. When it was being delivered. It left a dent in the side. The people who ordered it didn't want it so D.I.D were selling it at a much reduced price"

Note to self: Mustn't jump to conclusions.