Please note...

...there will be no blog entry today as my country needs me. Our benevolent leader is in abject poverty.

I have no idea how we let this happen - but that's not important now. All that matters is that Bertie earns a measly €310,000 euro per annum (just slightly less than 10 times the Irish average industrial wage) and WE, scoundrels that we are, expect him to somehow live on it. The poor man can't afford to pay the tax, insurance, petrol and general maintenance costs on the car he doesn't need as he has a car and driver paid for by the state. He can't put any money aside to contribute to the handsome, non-contributary, index linked pension he will pick up when he retires. It is nothing short of disgraceful - and at a time when so many people in this country have it so good too.... So I will be out doing my duty, braving the howling wind and the biting rain, with my bucket, having a bit of a whip round to give him another dig out.

I will be collecting from the pensioners who surely don't need the €200 a week they get for nothing each week. After all they don't have to pay for their TV license or public transport - what else could they need money for?

I will be collecting from full time carers - who are given a more than generous allowance so they can forego any kind of reasonable wage in order to stay at home and care for their incapacitated loved ones. Sure they are freeing a place in the a long term care facility and relieving the strain on the already creaking health service - but in return they get to stay home every day, watch Oprah and old Cheers reruns and they don't have the grind of a daily commute. They should be giving us money for the privilege!

I will be collecting from others living close to the poverty line - think you really need that second pair of shoes or the warm winter coat? I don't think so my friend - just how exactly do you expect Bertie to get over to that corporate box in Old Trafford.

I will be collecting from people who can't afford private health insurance - with the level of care you can expect in our not-very-clean-at-all-actually hospitals (if you happen to make it that far up the waiting list) you won't be with us much longer and everybody knows you can't take it with you when you go. May as well hand it over now for the good of the country.

Finally, I will be colleting from Mary Murray, wife of volunteer firefighter Brian Murray who died while on duty in Bray earlier this year. She certainly doesn't need the €40 from her husband's last pay packet. The money was docked from his pay by Wicklow County Council as he didn't complete the full shift. What does she expect - that Wicklow County Council should pay her for time her husband spent acting the eejit being burned alive? I also doubt she needs the insurance money they are holding back from her at the moment.

You've never had it so good folks - dig deep and give generously.

You know, I'd swear Bertie is convinced that John F. Kennedy meant to say "Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your country can do for you."