Could you not just use a sock your Majesty?

I chanced upon the first few minutes of The Tudors on TV3 last night.

It caught my attention because Jonathan Rhys Meyers as King Henry VIII was masturbating furiously into some kind of towel held by a (male) servant kneeling before him with his eyes averted (naturally).

It led me to wonder how do you get a job like that? How much does it pay? And Just how averse would you have to be towards your own semen that you are willing to pay somebody to collect and dispose of it for you?

In any case, despite what the scene suggested, I suspect that the only thing wooden was JRM's acting.