If no one knows your face, then no one knows your name

I was sitting in Thomas Read's, with my back to a bookcase as she made her way over. GW was to my right, CPF and P across the table deep in discussion about wedding dresses, flowers and honeymoons.

I had noticed her casting furtive glances in our direction ever since her friend had taken her elbow, pulled her close and whispered in a "don't look now.... but" manner. Having seen it happen a thousand times before, I was certain I knew what was coming.

Beautiful in an elegant, effortlessly understated way, she fixed her skirt and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she approached.

"Hi" she said brightly, flashing a mega-watt smile.

"Hel-lo" I replied, confused. This wasn't the way these things usually went.

From the corner of my eye I noticed the CPF's inquisitive "Who the bejaysus is she and how do you know her" look. Curious to see how the situation would progress I ignored it, she obviously didn't realise what was happening.

"How are things?" she asked.

"Good, thanks. And yourself?"

"Great"

"Good"

She looked at me for a few seconds, as if waiting for me to continue the conversation before finally asking with mock indignation...

"Are you not going to shake my hand?"

With a theatrical nod of the head in GW's direction, I replied "I think you need to look a bit to the left"

"No I don't"

"Trust me - you should look a teeny bit to the left"

"No"

"Just look"

"No. You'll laugh at me.. or make jokes about me."

I stood up and stepped past the CPF's chair to shake her hand.

"Should I know you?"

"No" she said.

"But you know me?"

"Yes... well no. I mean, I don't know you personally but I know who you are"

"You do?"

"Yes"

"Because you've seen me on TV?"

"Yes"

"That's right. Because I am...?"

"GW"

"I think you'll find that's GW"

Turning to see her friends delighting in her mistake, she held her head in her hands and groaned in embarrassment.

"Shit! You're right. I recognise him now. They just pointed in this direction and said 'That's GW over there' . I thought it was you. I'm sooo sorry for disturbing you. "

Then she turned on her heel and fled.

Without even saying hello to GW.