Everybody was kung fu fighting....

So, our beloved leader Bertie got some money from some people and, for reasons unknown, this has generated a certain amount of fascination and intrigue.

For the good of the nation, he bared his soul and explained it to us through the medium of Brian Dobson. Now poor Bertie is getting on in years and his aul' memory is not what it once was. He hmmmed and hawwwed and gave it his best shot but was a little hazy on the details in some areas.

For every apparent flaw or inconsistency in his original explanation, Bertie's recollection suddenly became a little less hazy and, thankfully, he was able to revise his account (strangely, he went from have no accounts, to having many different and widely varied accounts) and shed more light on that particular area. He simply took the words of Groucho Marx - "These are my morals! If you don't like them.... Well, I have others" - changed morals to explanations and was good to go.

At the weekend, Deppity Inda Kinny, leader of Fine Gael, suggested that Bertie's actions and explanations were making a mockery of politics in Ireland and the office of the Taoiseach in particular. He sad

It is not acceptable to have a Taoiseach who cannot declare compliance with the tax codes, who cannot explain €300,000 worth of lodgements to his accounts and who has clearly misled the public and the Dáil over his inexplicable finances

Bertie, who was off pimping the country in Africa, responded with "Liar, liar, pants on fire!"

Then, this morning on NewsTalk, Mary 'My people worked like blacks' O'Rourke said she saw Inda kissing Joan Burton behind Donaghy and Nesbits . (Actually, she accused him of treason and dishonouring the Irish flag but I thought you might find it too ludicrous).

Expect Inda to administer a particularly fierce Chinese Burn to Mary O'Rourke at lunchtime.
At little break tomorrow, Brian Cowan will propose a motion that "This house believes my dad would beat Eamon Gilmore's dad in a fight".
Brendan Howlin will pull Liz McManus's pigtails (yes they are on the same team but the thing is, despite his protestations, he secretly likes her).
She's will most likely give him a wedgie in return (because she likes him too).

And everybody will leave Caoimhghín Ó Caoláin alone because he's way bigger than them and they're more than a little afraid of him.

Who needs 'Shameless' for entertainment?