I don't like cricket... Oh no... I love it.

100 (posts) not out!

Howzat?

Who'd a thunk it? Certainly not me.

The Friday Album Cover #3

Last night, lying in bed, I prepared what would (hopefully) have been a witty, charming preamble to this weeks album cover.

However, having endured a particularly patience-testing morning during which I visited two (yes, two) different doctors about my blisther (which, as it turns out, is actually something slightly more complicated than your common garden blister), I don't feel nearly half as cheery as the preamble would have suggested - so I've abandoned it by the wayside.

Because I have people to meet (colleagues), places to go (the office), things to do (bugs to write) and my regular doctor does not open until 10m, I decided to go to the Medical Centre which recently opened near Ambassador Towers - and opens at 9am.

After briefly explaining what was wrong, the doctor began searching for the blister using her penlight and tongue depressor. It felt like she had dived in up to her elbows - in fact, I'm not entirely sure a miners headlamp and walking stick wouldn't have been more appropriate. Initially, after pulling my gums and cheeks this way and that she proclaimed that she couldn't find anything. Then, during a second examination, she found it... with her tongue depressor... repeatedly. After stabbing, poking and rubbing it, she withdrew behind her desk, shrugged, and suggested "Wisdom teeth?".

"Not likely, I had them taken out"

She shrugged again then: "I think its wisdom teeth. You've definitely had them out?".

"Oh yes! I remember it very clearly"

She shrugs again and looks puzzled - and somewhat nervous.

"Does it look infected or anything?"

Another shrug then "You should go to your dentist and have it X-rayed - I think its your wisdom teeth".

"Great, thanks, bye!"



So, with little faith in her shrugging, I paid my regular doctor a visit - a visit that had a more traditional outcome. Basically "I've seen it before. I know what it is. I know how to treat it". (In my opinion, those 3 sentences, may be the greatest placebo known to man).

"Ahh yes I see it... this is generally caused by A, B and C".

"A and B don't apply to me".

"Ok... have you also experienced any D, E or F".

"Yes, yes and maybe a little"

"Take this, go for some blood tests come back in a week"

Bish! Bash! Bosh! (Obviously, this is a summarised version of events).

Bad doctors. Pah!

Anyway, here is the album cover.

Life's Little Mysteries #7

Why, whenever I begin to peel the top off a yoghurt, does a tiny blob always shoot out and land right in the middle of my sodding shirt?

Blowin' In The Wind

The 1500 flight from Munich will be arriving on runways 2, 3 and 4 at 16:03 and 16:04.

Normally I wince when applause breaks out because a pilot touches down successfully - this guy deserves a hearty handshake and a kit-kat chunky....

...and then a personality test of some description to determine why he attempted to put her down at all. If it was me I would have kept on flying.

Heal The Pain

Ow! Ow! Fucking ow!

I woke with a monsther blisther in the back of my mouth.

The pain shoots through my jaw, right down the side of my neck and apparently comes with a dirty, stale taste as standard.

So much for all the water I've been drinking, all the fruit I've been eating and those vitamin tablets the close personal friends thrusts into my hand with a grunt and a kiss each morning.

You say you will but you know you won't.

Note to self: I really must stop opening my book when consuming the morning's dose of caffeine. I invariably glance at the clock and think "loads of time, I'll just read to the end of this chapter" only to find myself engrossed, 3 chapters further than intended and needing to leave 10 minutes ago.

Every morning while slaloming through rush hour traffic, I swear I will no longer pick up a book before 6pm on a work day. In fact, I'll go one better - I will hide the book. Each night I will stow it in a different location, leaving myself a series of cunning clues - each more fiendish than the next - telling me where to find it. But I don't think I have the time to devise all manner of fiendishly difficult cryptic instructions.

But a good book is only half the problem, the other half is a reasonable employer. One who isn't hell bent on punctuality at all costs and instead, realising that a certain element of give and take is essential, is relatively flexible on start and finish times. Its makes it far too easy to decide you will hang on until just after this news report/chapter/article/episode of Neighbours.

The final half of the problem is, apart from a poor grasp of basic fractions, the fact that I am not at the mercy of rush hour traffic. We all know that, for some unfortunate drones, leaving the house 10 minutes later than normal can result in arriving at the office 30 to 40 minutes later than normal. On two wheels you don't really experience that phenomenon - you leave 10 minutes later, you arrive 10 minutes later. Hence there is no urgency to get out the door, it makes your morning routine a little more flexible.

But mostly its the books. We written, enjoyable, unputdownable books.

Life's Little Mysteries #6

Why, when all players may handle the ball, do goalkeepers in Gaelic sports wear different jerseys to the rest of their team mates?

Nothing to do with soccer I assume.




In the past the GAA has had some trouble co-existing with other sports - traditionally, viewing soccer as its arch-nemesis. Therefore, when the GAA introduce a rule or procedural change, it must be coincidence if the same change has already been implemented by FIFA (soccer's governing body). There can obviously be no question of the GAA being influenced by a sport its members were prohibited from playing up until 1971.

For example, when the GAA introduced the concepts of ....

• red and yellow cards.
• using a yellow match ball during winter months.
• using a digital display unit to display the numbers of substituted players.
• using a digital display unit to indicate how much injury time is to be played at the end of a match.

.. these were all fine examples of independent thinking by GAA officials.